Of Heaven and Hell
by AuntieClimatic
Summary: Vegeta gives Bluma a tastes of Hell, a glimpse of Heaven, and explains why sometimes death is better.. Read the warning people!


WARNING!!!! Story contains religious insite and language. If you are offened by this stop now! Flammers will be laughed at and made fun of.  
  
  
OF HEAVEN AND HELL  
  
"I touch the fire and it freezes me, I look into it and it's black. Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peel, I want the fire back."  
- Joss Whedon "Walk Through the Fire"  
  
  
******************************************  
  
*Click*  
  
The last thought that flowed through my head before I died was you. I hope you know that, I never got a chance to tell you. You and our child, I never said it but I loved you all more then my life. I guess that's how I ended up lying on my back in my own blood. Not exactly my favorite way to die but I've had worse. The time I used my own power to try and blow Buu up was painful. Not to mention it did nothing for me in the slightest. God, did I feel like a moron after that or what? It's embarrassing enough to be responsible for the possible end of the world (again) then to have to stand before that Judge guy and have him tell you that there's good news and bad news.  
  
"Well stop your yammering and tell me what it is!"  
  
"The good news is that you can go to Warrior Heaven because you tried to do a courageous act."  
  
"And the bad news?"  
  
"You tried."  
  
"Aw... fuck."  
  
  
"Exactly."  
  
He seemed like he had his horns stuck up his ass a little to tight to me. I mean, come give me some credit here! My body is lying in fifty different pieces on the ground, making a very lovely jigsaw puzzle for Kakarott to play with later. Good image to carry with me for all eternity huh? Well that wasn't the most painful death I've had. Sure it hurt like hell for a few seconds but it was over soon enough. That wasn't my worst. Freeza was.  
  
I wasn't enough for him to kill me, nooo. He had to toy with me, beat the shit out of me in front of that bald guy, the Namik, and that brat of Kakarott's, then he shot me threw the heart. Real nice boss there huh? I especially like the part where he purposely missed my heart by a millimeter so I would have a painfully long death complete with another embarrassment for crying my eyes out in front of Kakarott. And by long, I mean long. I was still alive when he buried me. Do you know what that's like? To not be able to yell when some jack ass is pouring dirt into your face or able tell anyone that your not quite dead yet and don't you people know how to take a pulse? *Sigh* I never told Kakarott; I guess I just never saw the point. The last thing I need is his sympathy.   
  
Of course it didn't help that I knew I was going to Hell. No question about that, I've done too many things, killed to many people. I hope you never find out about even half the things I've done. My greatest fear is that one-day, my past would catch up with me. In Hell it did.  
  
Have you ever been to Hell? I highly doubt it, so I'll let you in on something about it. As soon as you step down there the screams of the damned and the smell of burning flesh alone is enough to make you wet yourself and run scream for your mother if your legs weren't frozen to the floor. But then *they* come, and make it so much worse. I can't you much about them; all that I can't say is that when Kakarott brought my back I can still hear their screams of rage at loosing my soul in my nightmares. I'd rather not exist then go back there.  
  
I know what you're thinking; you're thinking that I wasn't even down there for an hour. How do I even dare complain when others have been down there for a hundred years and counting? Here's a news flash. Time down there is different then up there in your planet. I've spent eons dodging the flame, inhaling the decay, and listening to the wailing of the damned. But I was talking about my past. In hell you bring your own personal torture pit with you. Your own guilt and inner decay follows you and turns the cold and solitude into pain and misery. Fire, wailing, darkness, it's the kind of place anyone would do anything to get out of. I hope you never have to even have a glimpse of a second of what I went through.  
  
This time however, death was different. It was slow yes, but, different. The battle drained the last of my power. All I could do was watch from a pool of my own blood under a ton of concrete as you held our unconscious son in our arms and Kakarott's second brat, the one that always used to hang out at our house when his father was still on his second death trip. They fought well; I never got a chance to tell him how proud I was of him. I never told him so many things. And you! How many times did I tell you to get out? Do you ever listen, you stubborn loud mouth bitch? God women how arrogant can you get? Thank you. If you hadn't been there Trucks would be writing this instead of me.   
  
Anyway, Kakarott was fighting with his half-bred son and failing fast. The Namik, Baldly, and the others had long been taken out. I watched as Kakarott was slammed into the side of the cliff, he didn't look like he'd be getting up anytime soon. Who where we fighting? I don't really remember it was all kind of blurred. I think the blood loss went to my head, I couldn't really focus. I have a vague relocation of Gohan hitting the ground next to me. Or was that just another rock? I could hear a heart beating slowly in my ears while I slowly turned my head to face you. That's when I saw him.  
  
He came up behind you with that smirk written all over his blue face. Everything became sharper to me; figures became more outlined, someone's heart was beating none stop in was bugging the crap out of me. Something I don't get is how I got up. I was on my feet and running before I realized he was lifting his arm and gathering his ki. I saw you turn and gasp. There was that damn heartbeat again; it was going faster this time. And my vision was kind of going in and out in time with it. I fell on my side as the world went dark for a third time. Suddenly in was clear again and I saw you bend to cover the kids. Sweet but stupid, they could've take the blast unconscious or not.   
  
I remember my arms shaking as I push myself up again. My leg was burning, probably because a blast had burned about half of in off. Kami, who's ever heart that was I was going to rip it out! I was running again. Not very fast, but fast enough to jump in front of you as the blast left his hand and feel the universe explode into red agony.   
  
I heard myself scream but only faintly. There was a roaring in my ears as if Freeza's ship was coming down on me. A pain engulfed my body, sending agonized spasms through my limbs. It was centered in my chest like something white-hot was lodged inside it, crushing my lung and dislodging my internal organs and burning right beside my heart. I had a ki sword rammed in my chest. The technique is common and easy to block. An insult really. It's used on the weak we feel aren't worth the energy waste. I'm glad none of my victims lived long enough to keep suffering like I did.   
  
The energy of the sword was poisoning my heart. Even if it were removed I would die, and I knew it. Still I would live for a little while- in unimaginable pain as the poison ate through me. I couldn't hear much. Faintly I heared you screaming my name, I'm not sure but I thought I heard Goku yelling in the backround. Did I just call him Goku? I guess names and rank really didn't matter anymore. I hope it wasn't him, he had to stay clam: to think of a way to protect you.  
  
Because I couldn't help you anymore. Over the roaring I felt a ki rise as red haze filled my vision. It felt slightly familiar, oh screw it. It didn't matter anymore. It didn't matter who was stronger or who had the higher power level. All that mattered was that you where alive, that you got out. A huge explosion rocked the ground and I felt a high ki drop, and then disappear. A shadow fell over me, blocking my body from flying rock. That heartbeat again; still there but fainter, slower. Good, that's what mattered. Although I could really remember why any longer…  
  
Suddenly a face broke through my haze. It was you, god damn it women that thing was still out there.   
  
"Vegeta!" I looked up slowly, Kakarott. Well the other guy was gone if you where taking the time out to check in on me.  
  
"Vegeta, you'll be okay. Just hang on!" Goku said holding on to my shoulder.  
  
I smiled at him faintly. I couldn't breathe to answer and I didn't want to try. Poor Kakarott, you'd had it easy your whole life and even now you can't take the hard truth. I'm dying and we both know it. Would you believe me if I told you I never really thought of you as my enemy? No, I don't think you would…  
  
The pain was getting less by itself, as if I was moving farther and farther away from it.  
  
"How can you be so stupid?!" Your face was twisted and floating in a scarlet mist. Then you turned and started screaming at someone else. There they where. All of them alive and surrounding me. I could feel their ki sizzling with life nearby.   
  
Someone's hand touched the sword and my haze was broken as the fire shot through my chest making my back arch and my eyes open wide. I heard myself scream with pain. I don't think I'd ever heard myself scream like that. I think I surprised them more then myself because I felt their ki move up suddenly and heard you scream again.  
  
"Leave it…" I whispered faintly. I was going away again. That was too bad but at least it didn't hurt anymore. The pain was gone completely, replaced by a warm and the sensation of gently floating outward. My eyelids felt heavy.  
  
"Vegeta? Vegeta!" I opened my eyes to see your face. You were crying. Oh, shit this was bad. You never cried. Not since…I don't think I ever remember you crying. You much braver then I ever gave you credit for. Although I'd die before I'd ever tell you that. Oh wait…I am. Hehe.   
  
I moved by hand slightly, ouch! That hurt. I felt your hand clasp mine. That heartbeat was slowly fading. I blinked. Was that my heart? Hmmm, I guess I do have one. Weird. After all these years of wondering I finally know. Maybe I should say something.  
  
"I feel…light." Wow, if that's the best I can do I must be loosing blood.  
  
"No, you don't!" Gohan growled. I looked up again and almost laughed. Well brat, you're more Sayain then I thought. Behind him I saw the others, they were all surrounded with golden light. Super Sayain? No. The Namik had it too.  
  
"Funny," I frowned softly looking at him, "I thought you where green."  
  
"This is no time for your weird humor!" Kakarott shouted, his eyes flashing.  
  
"Stop it! Don't yell at him!" Trucks? Was that you? It was fading now. I felt a smaller hand clasp mine and I smiled.   
  
"Papa." Well, unless I've got another son somehow then that's Trucks.  
  
"He'll be okay," Who was that? I can't see… "He's lost a lot of blood but he'll be alright." A face came closer, Yamcha. I hate you, well not really anymore I guess. Someone was stroking my face, I'd wish they'd stop it it's annoying. I frowned slowly at you, there was something important to tell you and talking was difficult. It didn't help that I couldn't see anything either. My heartbeat was quieter now. That's good; it was driving me off the wall.  
  
"Bulma…"  
  
"Shhhhh, I'm here. Don't talk."  
  
"Don't…. tell me… what to do, women." My voice didn't sound as angry or forceful as I hoped it would. Talking was getting harder. I swallowed hard and breathed in for the last time.  
  
"You're still ugly." I smiled.   
  
The heartbeat stopped and a rushing filled my ears. Through the mist and gold and the warmth and peace, came a far away voice filled with rage and fury.  
  
"Don't you dare die on me Vegeta! Don't you dare! If you die I'll follow you into the after life and kill you!" Sorry Kakarott. This is the one battle your going to loose.  
  
I was covered in warmth and I felt a sudden sucking sensation. I watched from a distance as they cried over my body. Who knew Kakarott would go into stage 3 just because that guy killed me. Nothing to cry about really. It was so peaceful. I hope Bulma would be all right. Wait a minute! This was wrong! Where was that huge desk and that stupid Judge guy with the stupid horns? I was flying right past him; I felt his ki go by fast as I continued up.   
  
Something hit me. This death was different then any of my other times. And Kakarott never talked about any stupid golden light. I wasn't going to Warrior Heaven, which was the place they put the fighters. They still killed, even if it was to save innocents. Kakarott killed people when he turned into that monkey. What was it called? I should remember it seemed so important to my race. Oh well. Even though it wasn't his fault he still killed. And he also killed that stupid fat master and blew up his planet. So he was put in a place he'd be happy. The mindless git.   
  
But me, *sigh* I was a killer. I've killed cold millions in cold blood and I've been to hell to prove it. But I was brought back… Does getting a second or third chance at life mean you get a second or third chance for your soul? I hadn't killed anyone in my third round back, not even this villain or any of his lackeys. Interesting…  
  
I was almost to the light. Once I got there everything would be okay. I was warm and safe; I was even loved. By who I did not know, but I was loved without question. Once I reached the light I would never have to fight again. No more days and nights of being plagued because I was second best. I was finished; my time was over. Everyone I loved I knew was safe and alive. I didn't have to worry about them anymore. Almost there…  
  
NO! I could sense them below me with the Dragonballs. No! Please don't! I want the light! The light was before me. If I could get there everything would be all right. Everything would be safe. They couldn't bring me back, not now! Not when I was so close to being done. I franticly tried to reach the light and communicate with the dragon. But I wasn't in that realm anymore; forcing off the wish was out of the question. No! God damn it! Let me rest! Give me my peace! Please don't do this! I reached up and touch the light with my forefinger. I felt in me a light I had never felt before.  
  
Suddenly I stopped… Something was pulling me away from the light. No! Nonononono! It wasn't right; it wasn't fair! I was sobbing, begging, pleading, I'll do anything just don't make me go back! Stop! I felt my peace shatter as I was pulled back down, past the Judge who watched me with pity, past the clouds, and back into the Earth. The warmth was gone, my peace was gone, my light was gone, and oh god my body! No! Don't put me back in there! I can't do it again! Not after how close I was! NO! NO! STOP! Too late…  
  
My eyes opened. And I brought air into my lungs again. My body was numb with cold and my limbs ached with pain.   
  
"No…" I whispered closing my eyes, stopping the tears. Not again, please.  
  
"PAPA!" Something hit me sending the air out of my stomach. I didn't move, I couldn't, not with the memories of what could have been weighing me down.  
  
"Vegeta!" Not you, you made them bring me back god damn you Kakarott!  
  
"Vegeta!" Bulma, God how could you let him? How could you let him do this to me?  
  
"Vegeta!" Piccolo, you of all people should know not to mess with death, you basterd!  
  
"Vegeta!" Yamcha, God I hate you more then I can say.  
  
"Vegeta!" Get away from me you bald q-tip before I hurt you.  
  
"Vegeta!" No, not you too Gohan! How could you!  
  
"Vegeta!" Goten, don't you dare touch me!  
  
I cried, not because I was back as you thought, but because I was back as you can't imagine. So that's my refrain. I live in Hell, cause you've expelled me from Heaven. Not the Warrior Heaven where everything is the same but everyone has stupid halos on their head but the real heaven. I was torn out, ripped from my place...By my friends.  
  
Later Denda came up to me and said he tried to stop you all but you wouldn't listen. He said he understood my loss. What a joke, no one can understand. Anyone who has felt what I felt is in that place, that warmth. No one has been denied that but me. The only reason I didn't rip his head off is because he offered me a place to say to be alone.   
  
So that's it. That's my story, every little bit. I'll put this tape where you'll find it if anything happens to me again. I'll put it next to your dragonball locator. They can never know, just stop them from doing it again. Maybe the Dragonballs should never had been created. Sure they did a lot of good things, they even saved me from Hell, but I don't know. Maybe we're all screwing with powers that we can';t even begin to imagine. I don't what it was that I touched and I don't know if there's a God or Devil but I know one thing. I want to find out.  
  
*Click*  
  
Vegeta hit the stop button on the recorder and pushed rewind. He sat in his chair in silence listening to the hum of the tape as it span backwards then stopped with a click. Vegeta pushed play.  
  
"The last thought that flowed through my head-."  
  
Vegeta hit the stop button and closed his black eyes. He had to live. For Bulma and Trucks, for Kakarott and his whole blasted family, but mostly for himself. He had to live to get back to that place that he touched. He could still feel it in his dreams along with his blasted heartbeat telling him with an almost tormenting knowledge that he was alive. It hurt more then the memories of Hell. He now prayed for the nightmares of Hell to drive back the memory of Heaven. Opening his eyes, Vegeta took out the tape and wrote Bulma's name on it.   
  
They can never know well I'm alive, he thought staring at the tape, but next time, next time I'll stay dead. Without a sound Vegeta rose off the couch and went down to Bulma's lab basement.   
  
He didn't see the figure huddled behind the couch shaking in the darkness. Vegeta didn't see the moonlight up a signal strand of black spiky hair. Or hear the child sob into the night.  
  
The End?  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, should I continue or no? I'm not sure if it's good the way it is now or if it needs more. Comments welcome, just no flames about religion kay? When I say they will be laughed at I mean it. 


End file.
